Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. 
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column  "Salary Expected"  : 
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote  : Yes

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft
engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering
what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a
fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified
and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don`t we
close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds,"It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His Sardar boss sees him and asks, 
"What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He  replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss says, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were
planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how 
would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed.
Suddenly Banta Singh replied,  "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would 
takeover us and then we would be a state of USA  and we'll automatically 
getdeveloped."
All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd 
did not utter a single  word.
Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old and knowledgeable surd replied,  "OH! THAT'S ALL RIGHT 
BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a  bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.  He hurried home 
removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell 
the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to 
Sardars," Salesmanreplied. 
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete
disguise this time, haircut and new hair color,  new outfit, big
sunglasses, then waited a  few days  before he again approached the
salesman.  "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300
days,he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the 
doctor
to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.  "What's the
problem?" asked the doctor.  "I'm 2400 kms from home."

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started
thanking God. A passerby   saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; 
what are you thanking God for ?"  The sardarji replied, "I am thanking 
Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, 
otherwise I would have been missing too."

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him 
what had happened to his ears and he answered,  " I was  ironing a shirt 
and the phone rang - but  instead of picking up the phone I accidentally
picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."  "Oh Dear! " the doctor 
exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?"  "The 
scoundrel called back."

"Do you have color TVs?" "Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to  fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you  & will bring me a pair
of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch
him killing a huge one .
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and  angrily exclaims 
"71st and again* barefeet!"

A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in
Rajasthan, but two days later  disconnected it  because he was getting
complaints like  "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"

What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !! * 

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.  * 

What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel

What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone.

How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk:
"Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon
sardarji, kya baat hai?  Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies " Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai
lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes
along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks 
"kyon bhai
ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave 
the guy sitting opposite him on the train  20 rupees to wake him up when 
the station arrived.  This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 
rupees, the sardarji deserved more service.   So, when the Sardarji fell 
asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.  When the station arrived, the
sardarji was woken up, and he went home.  Reaching home, he went to wash 
his face,and suddenly screamed when he saw  the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken  my 20 rupees and woken up
someone else"
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother : Sikh
Father :  Sikh.
Brother  :  Sikh
Kid  :  Chinese."
"How come you write
"Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
"Aah, I read in a newspaper
that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space
The ground control issues commands
"Rubi!"  "Woof!" ( it's the barking sound )
"Press the red button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!"  "Press the white button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!"
"Woof."
"Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street, which has a Clock 
Tower When someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.  
Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared.  Having waited for several 
hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.  On the next day  the
Sardarji isagain walking along the same street and the same man  asks 
him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder".
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This 
time,you wait and I'll go get a ladder."